A Promise to be Better

I've considered myself an ally for minority groups beginning late in high school. I grew up in a predominantly white community and went to a private Catholic school for thirteen years. I am thankful for my incredible parents who showed us the world outside of our little town. We took trips to Minneapolis for Twins baseball games, theatre performances, the Minnesota Museum of American Art, and a lot more. We traveled to many places, but Minneapolis stands out in my mind. I don't remember specific conversations that took place, but I do know that love, compassion, and acceptance was and still is our family culture.

This gift from my parents was a great launching pad to being an ally, but I've recently learned that it isn't enough. Saying, I'm not racist, isn't enough. I need to be able to say I am anti-racist. I want to be anti-racist. I want to be a voice for what's good and right. I want to fight for civil rights. I want to acknowledge my white privilege. I want to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

I have been uncomfortable a lot this week and have felt compelled to speak. I've written down my thoughts on the current state of our country. It's scary to share publicly because some people are going to disagree. I've been afraid to say something wrong and upset the black community. Those fears are nothing compared to what black and other minorities feel every day. I was told this week we can't be anti-racist safely. That was a lot to swallow; I'm learning to accept this truth.

Borrowing from what I wrote on Instagram this week...

I attended my first protest on Tuesday and was surprised by what I learned. As the crowd started walking, chants began. For the first few minutes, I was hesitant to join in. It wasn't until more voices around me got louder that I joined. Before I knew it, I was yelling as loud as I could and felt immense anger for corruption in our country’s leadership, police who abuse their power, the broken judicial system, and those who don't show compassion. I was overcome with sadness as we took a knee for those killed because of their skin color. It's overwhelming to know that my emotions are a fraction of what the black community feels each and every day.

My biggest takeaway was that we need to speak up because it will empower those who are afraid to. It was through the support of others that I found the confidence to speak. It's time to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Today I make a promise to myself and all minority groups to be better, to speak up, and to educate myself. The last week has given me the motivation to be better but that isn't enough. Motivation does not last. This is going to take self-discipline to do the work and actively seek out information. It's going to take vulnerability to speak when I see injustice and racism. It's going to take courage to respectfully disagree with people I love.

I know it's going to be uncomfortable and that's okay.

The unabashed ally,

Anna

Fort Collins BLM Protest | June 2, 2020 | Photo Credit: Blaine Howerton